Re: "Sa Machine Ailée" et autres histoires
Posté : 17 mars 2021, 22:55
Light of the Abyss
Chapter 7: Unbroken Cycle of Flesh and Bones
“I think that's it.”
Tao turned another page, and held up the book at the wall's level. Indeed, the carvings shared similarities with the depicted symbols, and a few details matched perfectly.
“The solarbeam. A weapon of mass destruction, mounted onto a flying fortress. One strike of this heat ray could eradicate an entire town in a moment's notice.”
He pointed to a rough sketch of the fortress in question. A gigantic form with wings big enough to cover the sky, if the towers pictured underneath were of any scale indication.
“It...does look like a huge beast!”, Zia noticed. “If it fires from its head, it would look like it can spit fire.”
“I can see how people think of it as a dragon. It really looks like one.”, Esteban commented. “But how can we know it's the same thing as the one pictured here?”
“We've got no way to know for sure. Unless we can take a peek at the solar stone...from what I've read, it's easily identifiable. But that's not happening anytime soon.”
Esteban looked at the carved wall. At the depiction of the Beast of Destruction, engulfing the world in its flames.
“The seventh City of Gold...all along, it's been the weapon that brought down Mu and Atlantis.”
“I can see why the Sages would want us to find it. In the wrong hands, it could end the world as we know it! It's too dangerous to be left roaming.”
“Except that we don't know where it is. It likely fell into the sea, but where exactly? We've got no clues.”
“We could explore the seafloor with the Kalium?”, Esteban suggested. “And the Abyssal divers know the area very well. They could help us.”
“Without any directions, that could take months! We don't have that kind of time. I'm sure Ambrosius has already found a way to locate it.”
“How could he do that? Come up with some beacon to find an armed flying fortress in the middle of nowhere?”
“That wouldn't work.”, Zia scoffed. “Wouldn't be the first time.”
“Well, we've got to try anyway. There's got to be some clue as to where it is now. We could at least ask them if they know anything.”
It was as good an idea as any other, and it's not like they had any other idea to work with. After all, they were here for a reason, and maybe Nemishta was less of a detour and more of a key part of their trail.
Humans could only swim so far out, even with years of training and centuries of adaptation. The Abyssals' knowledge of the seafloor only extended to about a few hundred meters around the city, with occasional branching areas surrounding breathing spots. Most hunting was done above the city, where fish actually circulated, while seafloor exploration usually wielded shells, squids and whichever rare plants could thrive at this depth. It was impressive that they could survive at all, but that was very likely the solar stone's doing.
There was a small group of people gathered nearby. Wasting no time, Zia went to them, tapped on someone's arm to get their attention, and the two immediately started exchanging signs.
“Bah? Where'd you learn to handspeak?”, Esteban asked, following her.
“You're not the only one making friends here. I've been hanging out with the healers.”
She chuckled.
“For mostly mute people, they're surprisingly loquacious.”
Esteban forbade himself to get jealous.
However, it was obvious the conversation was a bit uneasy. The entire group seemed distraught, speaking in hushed hands with worry on their faces, and it didn't take long for Zia to pick it up. The young woman she was speaking to was seemingly trying to explain, but with mixed results.
“...so? What's she saying?”, Tao asked after a moment.
“I...I'm not sure. I don't know that word.”
She tried to copy it, and Esteban attempted to follow up. That twist of her left wrist meant it was a verb, and her clawed fingers were a modifier, but he forgot which one. Her right hand described a wave-like gesture, and he could swear he knew that word, but right now his lessons were a little fuzzy.
“If I take it literally, it means...'violent water'. I think she's saying she...no, someone was...hurt by water?”
Hurt by water? Esteban turned to the healer, and motioned that he didn't know. Cetea tilted her head, unsure as to what he could mean, and repeated slowly. “A person was hurt by water”; eventually, it was her distraught face, and the avoiding looks of the other people, that cued him.
“Someone...drowned?”
He put his hands to his throat and mouth, mimicking having a hard time to breathe, and Cetea nodded. It took another second for the message to fully hit, at what Zia softly gasped.
“Someone drowned? Did...did they...?”
This time, no need for any signs or words to convey the answer. Her face was enough.
It was bound to happen, in the Abyss. In a world where survival is everything, not everyone makes it alive. Some end up paying the price.
“...I'm so sorry.”
There was no need to, but it just felt like the right thing. It wasn't the first time the children have been faced with the death of someone they didn't know, and awkwardly stood on the sidelines while their people mourned and hurt. They've never known those people, they could never know how much they were allowed to mourn along, and yet doing nothing would be insensitive. Their status as outsiders meant they could not partake, most of the time, but it just felt wrong to completely ignore the suffering of others. Really, it always put them in a very awkward place, so they've learned over time to not make waves and leave the people be, unless they were specifically asked otherwise.
Not that it was an easy task at all.
“We...maybe should wait a little.”, Tao suggested. “They're all a pretty close-knit bunch, so when someone dies, they're bound to be all affected in some way.”
“I hate to admit it, but that's right. Let's return to the Kalium and leave them be for now.”
Reasonable enough. That way, they could figure out the rest of the plan.
The crab-like tank was still at rest, currently used by some children like a climbing game. The legs were sturdy enough, luckily, so the thing couldn't fall or topple over and hurt them. The inside was warm, decorated with swirly patterns reminiscent of the Thallios's, and always that distinct smell of old seaweed. They've found it in a cave off the coast of France, while chasing a lead found in the sixth City of Gold.
They had no idea where to go. But now, they knew that the seventh City, the answer to all their questions, might lay somewhere in this ocean. Everything had a meaning, everything would find its solution at some point; was that not the proof that things were starting to do well?
They would find it. They would find the Wardragon, they would solve all the mysteries. For now, they just needed to stay put, and seriously think their next move.
~~~~~
It was a noise that woke Esteban from his sleep.
He looked around, confused as to what was happening, his reading material having slipped out of his hands when he had dozed off. He picked it up, and turned to the source of the sound, which was the glass window: he saw that a hand was gently tapping. Was someone knocking? Seeing that his friends were still chatting over maps, he put down Tao's book, got up the ladder and opened the hatch, and stepped down the Kalium's leg, to see whom it could be.
“...hi there, Esheban.”
“Oh...hi.”
Rats. For some reason, seeing Karsha here made Esteban a little tense. His usual smile had gone, and he was rubbing his arm nervously, in a manner that couldn't mean well. Esteban got down to the ground, meeting his level, and the two of them exchanged a slightly uneasy glance.
“So...how are you?”, Esteban asked, trying to be polite. “Do you...need anything?”
“I come to you from Selaka's behalf.”
“Your mother?”
“Yes. She would like to...well, she wanted to know if you would come to the ras'mirasora with us.”
Esteban blinked.
“The...what now?”
“You know. The feast of death?”
That name took him quite aback.
“Whoa there, what even is that?”
“You don't have that on Shalaya?”
“Well...I don't even know what it is, so no.”
Again, it was a little awkward. Karsha glanced away, looking like he'd rather not be there, but likely out of consideration for his mother's feelings, he carried on speaking.
“I think you know that Scomber died, today. He was one of the hunters. So...now, we will have a big meal together.”
Esteban felt a little confused. He heard Tao and Zia come from the Kalium as well; likely they've felt he'd need some support.
“A big meal?”, Zia asked. “As in...a ritual feast?”
“Yes. We will get together and eat meat, and remember our departed friend. We'll be...telling stories about him, what he was like, and share memories.”
He shrugged.
“You don't have to come if you don't want to. You didn't know him, I understand you wouldn't feel at ease. But all the hunters and their friends will be there, and I'll be there too. And you're staying with us, so...Selaka thinks you might feel left out.”
“Well...”
Honestly, he wasn't sure they were supposed to even be there. If their presence was wanted, then it was something else; but Karsha didn't seem quite enchanted by that idea. Sure, he was grieving, which could explain his somber expression, but he was also actively avoiding Esteban's eyes and being a little distant, which was rather unusual.
“It's an honor.”, Zia replied. “We would love to be there.”
“If you want us to be.”
Again, Karsha wriggled his head in hesitation.
“I would love to.”, he said. “A feast of death is an occasion to be friendly, and reminisce happy memories. But...”
His hand nervously clenched over his arm.
“I just...I don't know. What if you don't like it?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that...it can be a hard time for us. A lot of us have lost people we love, and it hurts sometimes. If you start judging us, it will be so much harder.”
Esteban's thoughts froze in their train.
“Judge you? What do you mean?”
“Oh, you know.”
He frowned a little.
“You don't like that we hunt fish, or speak with our hands more than our voices, or share air with our mouths. And you're so shocked and loud, every time...what if you see something you don't like, again? What if you get angry because we do things you don't do? That is fine for little things, but a ras'mirasora is a big thing. People will be very sad and they don't need to be told what they're doing is bad.”
Karsha then blinked, as if he's just realized what he's said.
“...I don't want to speak bad things about you.”, he added, more quietly. “But I just don't know when you'll start being angry about us again. Now of all times would not be the moment, and I tried to tell Selaka, but she insisted.”
Esteban's chest started to feel heavy. Like something was weighing him down hard, even lower than the Abyss itself. Has he...really been this insensitive? This judgmental? He tried to deny it, to tell himself that this was wrong, but he had to admit that Karsha was right. This boy had saved him from drowning, and his first reaction had been shame and anger. Wasn't that the mark of insensitivity and judgment?
He had to do better. He had to prove him that he wasn't like that. And to prove himself, too; that would be even harder, for now he was truly doubting himself. But he couldn't bear to see Karsha so hurt, not when the boy never had anything but good intentions. These people were strange, but they were Atlanteans just like him: the least he could do would be to make an effort to understand them.
“...I've done you bad.”, he eventually said. “I've been a jerk to you and your culture. But I'm ready to atone, if I need to.”
Karsha didn't seem to believe him. So, gently, he put a hand on his arm.
“I'll do my best to be worth the honor. It's something important to you, so...I'll do it. We'll come.”
That seemed to have the least amount of conviction. But it'd do.
“Well...I'm glad to hear that.” Karsha simply said.
“Where will it take place?”, Zia asked.
“By the house with the three blue stones. There will be a group fire, you'll find it easily.”
“Do we have to show up at a specific time?”
“I'm not sure. Scomber's family needs to prepare the body, and we'll gather when it's done. Then we'll eat, and...and then we'll see.”
The premise was a little grim, but such were funerary rites. Esteban nodded, trying to sound as friendly as possible.
“We'll be there. And we'll be open-minded.”
“I mean, you can choose not to, but...that'd be a little mean.”
And Karsha let slip a slight smile.
“I...see you have work to do. I wouldn't keep you away from it. Most likely, see you tonight.”
“See you.”
He walked away, leaving them there. Only when he was out of sight did Esteban let his words out again.
“...do you think I'm making a mistake?”
“I wouldn't go as far as to say that. Let's say you've got much repairwork to do, if you two still want to be friends.”
“Don't put that pressure on him, Tao. We've got to be respectful, that's all.”
“Also, I'll admit I'm pretty curious. How do Abyssals take care of their dead ones? Surely there must be burial grounds somewhere.”
Esteban looked up at the ocean above their heads.
“What if they just release them to the ocean? To reach the heavens.”
“I guess we'll find out. I still think it'll be a bit awkward, if people start crying.”
“Come on. Even in the face of death, they want us to be included. The least we can do is to show up and pay our respects.”
That would still be an uneasy occasion. But Karsha described it as a happy one, full of cheer and good memories, so perhaps it wouldn't be so bad.
~~~~~
Indeed, it didn't start out so bad.
The mood was obviously a little gloomy, for the loss of a loved one was never easy. Scomber was one of the biggest hunters of the group, stern but with the ability to crack a mean joke. Esteban has never talked to him, only seen him in passing, but listening to the stories of those who knew him, it almost felt like the man could have been one of his friends.
From what he gathered, there has been a big commotion when the gowren was finally caught. The gigantic creature, which he understood to be some kind of whale, had struggled and fought in the trap laid by the hunters. And it would have broken out and wasted everyone's efforts, if not for the hunter's commitment to killing it, fighting it underwater until his literal last breath. Such a beast was too valuable to be left alive, and its meat and bones would be of tremendous help to fend off starvation. Esteban had seen it being hauled in by the rest of the hunters, and couldn't help but agree: a beast this size could feed an entire fleet!
“Of course, it's sad to see a life lost.”, someone had said. “But if we manage to keep that gowren's carcass, many children will grow strong and healthy. Many new lives will be born. We have to do all we can to keep the cycle going.”
Hunting was dangerous. The creatures of the Abyss were ruthless, born from the Wardragon's blood, and the only way to match their fierceness was to consume them in turn. In such a barren underwater wasteland, it was survival that mattered most.
“Are the beasts of the Shalaya such dangerous, too?”
“Well...there are some, yes. But there are much more docile ones too. We raise them for food...I thought you did that too?”
“What, the desha? They have little meat. Very soft, though.”
Seals were the cattle of the sea. They were not herded as much as simply accustomed to human presence, and left roaming free instead of kept in pens or enclosures. But they'd always come back, for food was hard to come by at such depths without a little help, and they needed air to live. They had their territory in a corner of the city bubble, down the canals' stream, and were left alone for the most part. “Shepherds” would simply leave them with food so they'd stay in that area, and carry away the dead or wounded seals. Their shimmery, soft fur was ideal for making swimming garments, and their blubber was an important source of nutrients. It was a cycle of taking and giving, as with everything else in nature; a self-sustaining ecosystem, from which both species would benefit.
Abyssal philosophy was deeply rooted in this idea. Everything was a cycle, nothing had a clear end or beginning. Humans were a part of nature, and to force it to bend to their will would break its fragile balance. Everything could find its place, everything had a use, and to waste anything would be a stupid idea.
“Surely you don't eat all parts of a fish? What about the heads?”
“Don't toss them, they make a lovely broth.”
“And the tiny sharp bones? And the fins?”
“If you boil them for a long time with freshwater, they make bonemilk. It's used in medicine, but it helps plants grow, too.”
“Anything that has meat on its bones can be eaten.”
Frankly, their ability to find uses for every last little thing was almost frightening. But it made sense, too: resources were very hard to come by, so anything that could be used and reused, would be. This ensured their city stayed clean, and that future generations would always have something to build in turn with.
Really, it was easy to forget why they were gathered here in the first place. They've been jumping from story to story for a while now, so much that they've lost sense of what they were talking about to start with. The salt fire was going down, and a dim light had settled over the area. It was peaceful, everyone was in a good mood. It was a pretty good time.
“I'm getting hungry.”, Tao said after a time. “When will the feast start?”
“Be patient.”, Zia replied. “Have you seen the meat on that whale? It's going to take a long while to cook.”
One of the crafters, who's been sitting with them for a moment, turned in their direction.
“You mean the gowren? We won't be eating that today.”
“Really?”
“Of course not. It is supposed to last us for a long time, so it will be salted for later. And even the rest will take a while to cut down.”
“I heard whale meat is delicious. Some sailors back in Spain talk of it like a luxury.”
“It's true that it's very hard to catch. The best part is the tail; that's what we give our sick ones.”
“Why is that?”
“So they can heal faster, of course. Not all food is the same, so the best meals go to those who need it. Don't eat khe'beite if you're not pregnant, you know what I'm saying?”
“...I don't.”
Well, that made sense. Food and health were intrinsically tied, after all.
“I hope we don't get bad bits just because we're healthy.”, Tao joked.
“The best bits will go to his family first. That's proper.”
“The best bits of...what, exactly?”
The crafter didn't reply, and instead turned around. For indeed, the smell of food had just hit them, and they could tell the fun was about to begin.
An old woman had brought out a large dish filled with meat, both cooked and raw, and people were starting to gather around. They were silent for the most part, their stories and jokes quieted down, and a wave of solemnity had washed over the crowd. They sat down for the most part, as the grandmother put down the food by the fire. The children also watched, intriguing as to what exactly was going on.
The old woman picked a juicy piece of red meat, wrapped in seaweed like a Chinese riceball. It was still dripping with blood, and many people were looking at it with an expression Esteban couldn't decipher, but that struck him as some form of respectful jealousy.
“Corhyn, his faithful companion, who will be the mother of his child. May his heart bring you the strength to carry on in life.”
A younger woman then stood up, wearing the tied down sealeaves of married adults. She was a few months pregnant, and walked with a bit of difficulty to the grandmother, who handed her the piece of meat. She took it with reverence, respectfully bowing her head, and returned to the others. She looked about to cry, and the jealousy that subsisted all around faded into sadder tones.
“Sarda, Thunnus, his caring brothers. You have watched over him for all his life, and you have loved him. May his lungs bring your own breath where his own couldn't.”
Two young men stepped forward, and each accepted a wrapped piece. They too looked as if they've been crying, and went to sit with their brother's widow, comforting her with gestures.
The distribution continued. The old woman, which Esteban understood to be Scomber's mother, would call a name and hand them a selected piece of meat, always speaking of the food as if it would give them some blessing. As if it would confer them the qualities and strengths of the deceased hunter. It was rather touching, and people were honored to be called up and personally given some.
After the deceased's family, it was the turn of his close friends. Most of them were hunters, that was no surprise, but there were many from other circles. Karsha was called as well, and he was given a piece of cooked meat, claiming it would help him grow strong. He accepted it with the same reverence, and returned to his mother's side to share it with her.
“That's a strange custom.”, Tao commented at some point. “But it's not bad.”
“It's a bit weird. It sounds like they're figuratively eating him.”
“It's seal meat. They wouldn't literally eat him, would they?”
They chuckled at the thought, as gruesome as it was. True that they were pretty keen on not wasting anything, but that would just be taking the idea too far.
...right?
After everyone in the deceased's close circle had been personally given some piece of the seal, the grandmother turned to the crowd, and told them that even if they did not know her son personally, they were still part of the big family of the Abyss. Their grief was as valid and welcome as that of his family's, and they were welcome to take part in the ras'mirasora if they desired to. There was still a pretty big share of meat on display, and while a few people left, others stayed to partake.
“You guys hungry? I won't lie, I'm pretty eager now.”
“Why not.”
The kids stood up, and headed to the fire where the food was kept warm. There was no line nor hassle, everyone just picked what they wanted and made sure to leave plenty for the others. It was quite orderly, since people had the decency to let the elderly, pregnant and children go first. Though it was a little surprising to see nothing but red meat on the table, and no greens or seafood at all. No ocean bread, no shellfish soup, not even drinks.
Some bell in Esteban's head started to ring.
“Guys...are you sure you want to eat that?”, he asked quietly.
Zia turned to him.
“If I'm being honest...I'm not sure. I don't see a lot of vegetables here.”
“You heard them.”, Tao shrugged. “It's a feast, that's why they went all-out on the meat. I mean, I won't complain.”
He looked around at the cuts still on display, as Pichu perched on the table. The parrot took a look as well, but as soon as he got close, he immediately started flying away.
“Danger, danger!”, he called.
“Eh? What's gotten into you, Pichu?”
“Danger, danger! Hurt!!”
And he hid away in Tao's robe, leading him to step away as to not cause a scene.
“What do you mean?”, he asked. “It can't be poisoned, is it?”
“Help, help...Pichu afraid!”
He looked terrorized, for some reason that couldn't be understood. Esteban looked at the table again, and saw some ribs that have just been cut and cooked. That meat looked just fine, but...something was off.
He's seen an Abyss seal before. He's seen those long, scrawny water dogs. And even if there were some big ones, they ribcages were certainly not that big.
The best bits of...what, exactly?
“Guys...”
His heart started to pound. It couldn't be, no. It couldn't be possible.
“I...I don't think that's seal.”
“Then...what is it?”
We always try to shine those we eat; it's more respectful.
He didn't want to know. He didn't want to speak it. But the palor of his face spoke for himself, as he looked at his friends with absolute terror.
“...wait. You don't...you can't possibly mean that…?”
His blood ran cold, and a dreadful feeling squeezed his chest tighter than it ever has been.
Anything that has meat on its bones can be eaten.
His heart felt like it was about to stop. He was going to scream, there was no other way. Zia's hands put to her mouth when she realized, and she eyed the meat with absolute horror. Tao was silent, not yet getting it, but it would only be a matter of time. Any moment now, and he would scream in abject horror.
But before that could happen, a hand laid on his shoulder.
“Let's go.”, Karsha said.
And before anything could be said or done, he has whisked the three of them off to the side, away from the feast. Esteban followed along, because at this point there was nothing else he could do. It's as if all willpower had left him, replaced with absolute fear and disgust as his only emotions.
When he felt they were far enough away from the crowd, he let his feelings speak. He jerked Karsha's guiding hand away, and stared at him in utter spite.
“How can you do this!?”, he hissed between his teeth. “One of your friends has died, and you're...you've…!!”
Karsha simply held his stare, but stayed silent. That only fueled Esteban's rage even more, so much he could barely speak. It was Zia's voice that broke the tense silence.
“You're...eating him.”, she said in a whisper. “You're cannibals.”
“I don't know what that means.”, Karsha replied. “But I see that it's the thing that upset you.”
He shrugged.
“You promised to not make a scene, but I knew it was a matter of time. I suppose it can't be helped. Just go ahead and do your thing while no one's watching.”
Esteban's fist clenched. The air around them got warmer, charged with slivers of ire like static electricity. Sensing an outburst about to happen, Tao quickly got a hold of his arm, to try and calm him down.
“I can't believe it.”, Zia continued. “You're...you're cannibals! You're eating the flesh of your own kind!”
“I suppose...that's not what you do?”
“What we do!?”, Esteban interjected. “Do you realize what you're doing?!Do you have any idea of how crazy and wrong that is!?”
“That's the point, I don't!”, Karsha hissed. “That's why I didn't want you to come. I knew there'd be something wrong with what we're doing, and I was just waiting around to see what exactly would trigger your reaction.”
He sighed in mild annoyance.
“It just can't be helped.”
“You don't understand.”, Zia picked up. “It's not just a cultural difference. Eating the flesh of humans is a very grave offense! It's...it's one of the greatest taboos that exist!”
“It's disgusting!”, Esteban added. “You're desecrating your dead! That's completely sick!!”
Faced with so much anger, Karsha took a step back. His annoyance had shifted to unease, perhaps even fear. He was likely expecting a bad reaction, but certainly not one so big.
“I mean...a lot of cultures of the world think the same.”, Tao added, a bit more calmly. “Even in dire times, eating your own kind is...something you just don't do. I've seen a lot of things, but that's just...that's just too much for me. I'm sorry.”
He turned his head away, as if he were getting sick. Karsha glanced away, thoroughly uncomfortable.
“Well...that's how we do.”, he justified. “How was I supposed to know you'd find it offensive? Everyone here thinks it's natural.”
“That's the point!!”
Esteban jerked Tao's arm away.
“You've been here for so long, you've lost all sense of morality! You're just doing whatever you please, and then claim it's normal for you!!”
“Well, what are we supposed to do!? Just leave their bodies out there to rot, and starve in turn!?”
“Just because you're living in a harsh world doesn't mean you have to resort to such...extremities! That's completely sadistic!!”
“Because you think we like it?!”
And Karsha had shoved his finger at Esteban's chest, so much that a disturbing feeling crept through him and stopped him for a moment. In his anger, Karsha had shone him, and electricity was pouring out of him like the tears of his eyes.
“You think I wanted to lose my friend?! You think it's easy for me to eat the flesh of someone I held dear?! You think we're cruel sadists who see each other but as pieces of meat waiting to be devoured!?”
He was sobbing. His words were getting slurred, and his big eyes were slick with tears.
“I loved him! He taught me so much about hunting! He gave his life so that we could survive, and not starve like so many of us have starved before! Do you think I wanted to lose him? Do you think I'd be cruel enough to do horrible things to his remains, when all I wanted was for him to live!?”
His throat was wheezing, he had difficulty to breathe. He didn't even bother speaking any more words, and just fell to his knees, sobbing his heart out. The electricity dissipated, and Esteban's anger softened.
“...I'm so sorry.”
Zia stepped closer, knelt down to his height. She held onto his shoulder, and he accepted the embrace she was offering.
“I'm...so sorry this had to happen.”, she continued. “I can't judge you or your customs, and I'm sorry it seemed that way. Please, find it in your heart to forgive us.”
He held on tight, burying his face in her shoulder.
“I just...I just want everything to be fine!”, he sobbed. “I'm hurting, I lost my friend, and I don't understand why you're thinking all these things of us!!”
Tao glared at Esteban, who didn't know why that could be called for.
“...it would be hard to explain.”, Zia simply said. “Perhaps...if we knew in advance what was going to happen, we would have not come. And we could have avoided any scene.”
Karsha sniffled, looking at her. He looked truly hurt, and that vision tore at Esteban's heart. Once again, he tried to put himself in his shoes, to understand what it would be like if he'd just lost one of his closest friends and some foreigner were to insult him and claim he'd done a horrible thing. It helped with some perspective, sure...but still, he couldn't condone eating the dead! That was just too far for him!! Just because that was the way for some people didn't mean he had to accept it unconditionally!
“I just wonder...why?”, Tao asked calmly. “Out of all the ways to, um...honor your dead, why would you eat them? Why not bury them?”
“We'd run out of room pretty quickly.”
Karsha wiped his tears away, or at least tried to.
“I guess that it's just ingrained so hard into us, how we have to survive. Food is very hard to come by. Hunting can be dangerous. When half of the population dies, and the other half is starving...it's just natural.”
Zia sat down next to him, and Tao eventually followed. Esteban hesitated, but did not want to cause any more trouble, so he did so as well.
“I don't see what's wrong with it. If my body can help someone survive a bit more after I die, why would I not want to? I mean...I won't need it anymore.”
“But that's quite an extremity...if you devour each other so freely when hunger strikes, that would destroy you!”
“We'd never kill each other! Never! Any living life, any helping hand will always be more valuable than whatever meat we have on our bones. A person's body may feed us for a day, but their work and their help would have brought food for many more years. That is our...our taboo.”
“But isn't that twisted? Those are your loved ones, and you reduce them to...to food. That's horrible.”
“It doesn't have to be.”
Karsha then fetched something from his belt. It looked like a miniature crossbow, or some kind of spring-loaded pistol. It was painted and carved like an art piece, but the white organic material it was made of left no doubt as to its nature.
“My sheropeka was a gift from my mother. She gave it to me when I became of age. She carved it from the bones of her sister, who loved me dearly. And I loved her, too.”
His finger slowly followed one of the carved spirals.
“She had very good eyes. So good that she's now Chalum La'nadrarina. Whenever I hunt, her eyes guide me where mine can't see. That's why I never miss my target. It's like...she's still here with me, you know?”
It was grim. It was horribly grim. But the way Karsha spoke of it, holding his bone tool like one would hold a portrait of their relative, almost felt...wholesome.
“I get the idea, but...that's just too strange.”, Tao piped in. “You're playing with the bodies of people, making their bones into items?”
“I don't see what's so bad about it. I mean...I'd love for my children to so something great of me when I die. I want to help them even in death. You can make so many great things with bones!”
“And...everyone thinks like you?”
“You'd be surprised as to how many things you've touched here were made from someone's sibling or parent.”
Zia curled her hands away, disgusted by the thought. Karsha simply sighed.
“I guess I can see what irks you...it's not very clean. Some people don't want to become tools when they die, and we respect that. But when you've got nothing on hand to build a city where everyone can live comfortably...you've still got yourself, you know?”
There was still a lot of unease going around. Neither anger nor sadness had fully dissipated, and that was maybe what prompted Karsha to change subjects.
“...what do you do with your dead ones, anyway? You've judged us a lot, so now it's my turn.”
“Um...well, we bury them, most of the time.”
“Bury them? In the ground?”
“In graves. And then we...we mourn, we honor them. We...”
Zia stopped mid-sentence, her words trailing off. It dawned on them that the three of them had already lost someone, and that even though they've never really talked about it, they could knew what the others felt in this instant. Each of them remembered a different grave, in a different country, each holding a father figure that had watched over them for years of their lives. And it hurt to talk about.
Esteban remembered Father Rodriguez. He's been a good man, caring and devoted, even though he now belonged to a life so old and distant he could barely even remember his face. It'd never occur to him to eat his heart for strength, carve his bones into tools or make pouches out of his skin; the very idea repulsed him to the highest point. It felt criminal to even think about it.
“And...what becomes of them?”, Karsha asked.
“...nothing. We leave them here, at peace. That's all.”
It was obvious the topic was very painful, and opened up some old wounds. Karsha felt like he wanted to say something, and Esteban expected him to say horrible truths that'd come back at him for what himself said before; but nothing such happened. Instead, he just sat pensively, thinking about it.
“...it must be nice.”, he eventually said. “You've got so much room that you give it to people who don't need it.”
“It's not that.”, Tao sighed. “It's so that we have a place to go when we want to remember them. They've been through a lot in life...they deserve to rest in peace.”
The concept was hard to convey, it seemed. But Karsha said nothing, just thinking it over.
They had different ways to grieve. But deep down, the grief was the exact same.
“Do you...”, Esteban hesitated. “Do you...want to be eaten, when you die?”
“Of course. I'm young and strong. If I can help someone's sickness, I will.”
“And...what about your soul? If you don't have a body anymore, what becomes of it?”
Karsha blinked at him. But then, he simply smiled.
“My soul will return to my mother. Like everyone else.”
“To...Selaka?”
“No.”
And he held out a hand. Esteban hesitated, not feeling this at all, but something in Karsha's sad smile felt genuine enough. Slowly, he held that hand, and that warmth came back to him again. The warmth they shared, the same sunlight in their blood.
“My mother. Everyone's mother. Even if we are so far in the Abyss that she can't reach us, our souls will always find their way back to her.”
For an instant, just an instant, Esteban knew what he meant. He knew who was that watchful mother, so estranged and yet so present, the one that had helped them since the start and would keep helping them, even in the afterlife. The mother that was his own as well, for he too was a child of Atlantis. A child of the Sun.
But that only lasted a moment, after which his confusion came back. Karsha withdrew his hand, and simply smiled.
“I'm not afraid to die.”, he said. “Because I know I'll be alright. We all have to conquer our fear of death, so we can move on.”
It was getting late, and they've barely noticed the salt fires have been dimming. Slowly, Karsha stood back up.
“I believe we all need some cheering up. How about you come with me, and we get something all of us can eat? It wouldn't be fair to let you starve.”
Pichu happily reacted to the promise of food, lightening the mood. The children stood in turn, still a little hesitant and down, but at least there was no harm done. No lasting harm.
“...I'm sorry I called you sadistic.”, Esteban said out of the blue. “I...I've lost people I cared about, too. I would never think of doing such...such things to them.”
“Well...I can get that it's upsetting you. I'm sorry that it happened.”
“It's not your fault.”, Zia said. “You couldn't have known.”
“But I could have told you about it.”
“You couldn't have known. It's not very fair for you that you need to justify yourself all the time.”
“Yeah. You...you have your culture, and your own reasons for doing things. We don't have a place to judge you.”
“And yet you do.”
“And yet we do...”
Esteban sighed. Karsha gently touched to his shoulder, in that warm manner as usual.
“You don't need to put on a happy face if it truly upsets you.”, he said. “I can tell this is very important to you and your people.”
He glanced away for a moment.
“I just...I just don't want this to keep happening. Maybe we're just too different...and you're like me, so what about all the people out on the shalaya that are not like us? Perhaps it's good that we stay here in the Abyss, away from other humans.”
“What? No, don't say that! You know it's not true!”
“But it is. And it's maybe the best choice. We've long renounced on getting back to the surface, anyway.”
His hand slowly let go.
“But the surface is your home. I feel that if you stay away from it for too long, you'll end up missing it. Perhaps...it's best you shorten your stay in Nemishta.”
It felt like a stone suddenly dropped in his chest.
“...he's right.”, Zia said. “We still have an objective to complete. It hurts to say, but we can't stay here forever.”
“Well...I know that, but...”
But what? What was it that felt so wrong in all of this?
“You don't have to decide right now.”, Karsha said. “You know you're welcome to stay as long as you want. We'll always accept you...even if the opposite may not be true.”
The stone sank even harder down.
“But let's not bother ourselves with that! That can wait. Come, you must be all starved. We've got bread, and shells, and maybe even bone soup! Don't worry, it's desha bones, I swear it's not people. Once again, it's not something we do each day without a care in the world.”
“I believe you, don't worry.”
They followed, for they had nowhere else to go. But still, even with all the good will in the world, something just didn't sit right with all of this.
He didn't want to stay, nor did he feel like leaving. He didn't even know what he wanted anymore; only that, in the moment, he felt incredibly tired.
Mhh? Non, vous avez rien loupé. C'est juste que comme j'en ai rana'pétay, je mets que ce chapitre-là. Vous voulez tout le reste? C'est sur: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27643097
Ne dites pas aux Atlantes de l'Abysse d'aller manger leurs morts. Ils vous regarderaient avec une certaine confusion, et vous répondraient d'aller enterrer vos morts à vous.
Chapter 7: Unbroken Cycle of Flesh and Bones
“I think that's it.”
Tao turned another page, and held up the book at the wall's level. Indeed, the carvings shared similarities with the depicted symbols, and a few details matched perfectly.
“The solarbeam. A weapon of mass destruction, mounted onto a flying fortress. One strike of this heat ray could eradicate an entire town in a moment's notice.”
He pointed to a rough sketch of the fortress in question. A gigantic form with wings big enough to cover the sky, if the towers pictured underneath were of any scale indication.
“It...does look like a huge beast!”, Zia noticed. “If it fires from its head, it would look like it can spit fire.”
“I can see how people think of it as a dragon. It really looks like one.”, Esteban commented. “But how can we know it's the same thing as the one pictured here?”
“We've got no way to know for sure. Unless we can take a peek at the solar stone...from what I've read, it's easily identifiable. But that's not happening anytime soon.”
Esteban looked at the carved wall. At the depiction of the Beast of Destruction, engulfing the world in its flames.
“The seventh City of Gold...all along, it's been the weapon that brought down Mu and Atlantis.”
“I can see why the Sages would want us to find it. In the wrong hands, it could end the world as we know it! It's too dangerous to be left roaming.”
“Except that we don't know where it is. It likely fell into the sea, but where exactly? We've got no clues.”
“We could explore the seafloor with the Kalium?”, Esteban suggested. “And the Abyssal divers know the area very well. They could help us.”
“Without any directions, that could take months! We don't have that kind of time. I'm sure Ambrosius has already found a way to locate it.”
“How could he do that? Come up with some beacon to find an armed flying fortress in the middle of nowhere?”
“That wouldn't work.”, Zia scoffed. “Wouldn't be the first time.”
“Well, we've got to try anyway. There's got to be some clue as to where it is now. We could at least ask them if they know anything.”
It was as good an idea as any other, and it's not like they had any other idea to work with. After all, they were here for a reason, and maybe Nemishta was less of a detour and more of a key part of their trail.
Humans could only swim so far out, even with years of training and centuries of adaptation. The Abyssals' knowledge of the seafloor only extended to about a few hundred meters around the city, with occasional branching areas surrounding breathing spots. Most hunting was done above the city, where fish actually circulated, while seafloor exploration usually wielded shells, squids and whichever rare plants could thrive at this depth. It was impressive that they could survive at all, but that was very likely the solar stone's doing.
There was a small group of people gathered nearby. Wasting no time, Zia went to them, tapped on someone's arm to get their attention, and the two immediately started exchanging signs.
“Bah? Where'd you learn to handspeak?”, Esteban asked, following her.
“You're not the only one making friends here. I've been hanging out with the healers.”
She chuckled.
“For mostly mute people, they're surprisingly loquacious.”
Esteban forbade himself to get jealous.
However, it was obvious the conversation was a bit uneasy. The entire group seemed distraught, speaking in hushed hands with worry on their faces, and it didn't take long for Zia to pick it up. The young woman she was speaking to was seemingly trying to explain, but with mixed results.
“...so? What's she saying?”, Tao asked after a moment.
“I...I'm not sure. I don't know that word.”
She tried to copy it, and Esteban attempted to follow up. That twist of her left wrist meant it was a verb, and her clawed fingers were a modifier, but he forgot which one. Her right hand described a wave-like gesture, and he could swear he knew that word, but right now his lessons were a little fuzzy.
“If I take it literally, it means...'violent water'. I think she's saying she...no, someone was...hurt by water?”
Hurt by water? Esteban turned to the healer, and motioned that he didn't know. Cetea tilted her head, unsure as to what he could mean, and repeated slowly. “A person was hurt by water”; eventually, it was her distraught face, and the avoiding looks of the other people, that cued him.
“Someone...drowned?”
He put his hands to his throat and mouth, mimicking having a hard time to breathe, and Cetea nodded. It took another second for the message to fully hit, at what Zia softly gasped.
“Someone drowned? Did...did they...?”
This time, no need for any signs or words to convey the answer. Her face was enough.
It was bound to happen, in the Abyss. In a world where survival is everything, not everyone makes it alive. Some end up paying the price.
“...I'm so sorry.”
There was no need to, but it just felt like the right thing. It wasn't the first time the children have been faced with the death of someone they didn't know, and awkwardly stood on the sidelines while their people mourned and hurt. They've never known those people, they could never know how much they were allowed to mourn along, and yet doing nothing would be insensitive. Their status as outsiders meant they could not partake, most of the time, but it just felt wrong to completely ignore the suffering of others. Really, it always put them in a very awkward place, so they've learned over time to not make waves and leave the people be, unless they were specifically asked otherwise.
Not that it was an easy task at all.
“We...maybe should wait a little.”, Tao suggested. “They're all a pretty close-knit bunch, so when someone dies, they're bound to be all affected in some way.”
“I hate to admit it, but that's right. Let's return to the Kalium and leave them be for now.”
Reasonable enough. That way, they could figure out the rest of the plan.
The crab-like tank was still at rest, currently used by some children like a climbing game. The legs were sturdy enough, luckily, so the thing couldn't fall or topple over and hurt them. The inside was warm, decorated with swirly patterns reminiscent of the Thallios's, and always that distinct smell of old seaweed. They've found it in a cave off the coast of France, while chasing a lead found in the sixth City of Gold.
They had no idea where to go. But now, they knew that the seventh City, the answer to all their questions, might lay somewhere in this ocean. Everything had a meaning, everything would find its solution at some point; was that not the proof that things were starting to do well?
They would find it. They would find the Wardragon, they would solve all the mysteries. For now, they just needed to stay put, and seriously think their next move.
~~~~~
It was a noise that woke Esteban from his sleep.
He looked around, confused as to what was happening, his reading material having slipped out of his hands when he had dozed off. He picked it up, and turned to the source of the sound, which was the glass window: he saw that a hand was gently tapping. Was someone knocking? Seeing that his friends were still chatting over maps, he put down Tao's book, got up the ladder and opened the hatch, and stepped down the Kalium's leg, to see whom it could be.
“...hi there, Esheban.”
“Oh...hi.”
Rats. For some reason, seeing Karsha here made Esteban a little tense. His usual smile had gone, and he was rubbing his arm nervously, in a manner that couldn't mean well. Esteban got down to the ground, meeting his level, and the two of them exchanged a slightly uneasy glance.
“So...how are you?”, Esteban asked, trying to be polite. “Do you...need anything?”
“I come to you from Selaka's behalf.”
“Your mother?”
“Yes. She would like to...well, she wanted to know if you would come to the ras'mirasora with us.”
Esteban blinked.
“The...what now?”
“You know. The feast of death?”
That name took him quite aback.
“Whoa there, what even is that?”
“You don't have that on Shalaya?”
“Well...I don't even know what it is, so no.”
Again, it was a little awkward. Karsha glanced away, looking like he'd rather not be there, but likely out of consideration for his mother's feelings, he carried on speaking.
“I think you know that Scomber died, today. He was one of the hunters. So...now, we will have a big meal together.”
Esteban felt a little confused. He heard Tao and Zia come from the Kalium as well; likely they've felt he'd need some support.
“A big meal?”, Zia asked. “As in...a ritual feast?”
“Yes. We will get together and eat meat, and remember our departed friend. We'll be...telling stories about him, what he was like, and share memories.”
He shrugged.
“You don't have to come if you don't want to. You didn't know him, I understand you wouldn't feel at ease. But all the hunters and their friends will be there, and I'll be there too. And you're staying with us, so...Selaka thinks you might feel left out.”
“Well...”
Honestly, he wasn't sure they were supposed to even be there. If their presence was wanted, then it was something else; but Karsha didn't seem quite enchanted by that idea. Sure, he was grieving, which could explain his somber expression, but he was also actively avoiding Esteban's eyes and being a little distant, which was rather unusual.
“It's an honor.”, Zia replied. “We would love to be there.”
“If you want us to be.”
Again, Karsha wriggled his head in hesitation.
“I would love to.”, he said. “A feast of death is an occasion to be friendly, and reminisce happy memories. But...”
His hand nervously clenched over his arm.
“I just...I don't know. What if you don't like it?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that...it can be a hard time for us. A lot of us have lost people we love, and it hurts sometimes. If you start judging us, it will be so much harder.”
Esteban's thoughts froze in their train.
“Judge you? What do you mean?”
“Oh, you know.”
He frowned a little.
“You don't like that we hunt fish, or speak with our hands more than our voices, or share air with our mouths. And you're so shocked and loud, every time...what if you see something you don't like, again? What if you get angry because we do things you don't do? That is fine for little things, but a ras'mirasora is a big thing. People will be very sad and they don't need to be told what they're doing is bad.”
Karsha then blinked, as if he's just realized what he's said.
“...I don't want to speak bad things about you.”, he added, more quietly. “But I just don't know when you'll start being angry about us again. Now of all times would not be the moment, and I tried to tell Selaka, but she insisted.”
Esteban's chest started to feel heavy. Like something was weighing him down hard, even lower than the Abyss itself. Has he...really been this insensitive? This judgmental? He tried to deny it, to tell himself that this was wrong, but he had to admit that Karsha was right. This boy had saved him from drowning, and his first reaction had been shame and anger. Wasn't that the mark of insensitivity and judgment?
He had to do better. He had to prove him that he wasn't like that. And to prove himself, too; that would be even harder, for now he was truly doubting himself. But he couldn't bear to see Karsha so hurt, not when the boy never had anything but good intentions. These people were strange, but they were Atlanteans just like him: the least he could do would be to make an effort to understand them.
“...I've done you bad.”, he eventually said. “I've been a jerk to you and your culture. But I'm ready to atone, if I need to.”
Karsha didn't seem to believe him. So, gently, he put a hand on his arm.
“I'll do my best to be worth the honor. It's something important to you, so...I'll do it. We'll come.”
That seemed to have the least amount of conviction. But it'd do.
“Well...I'm glad to hear that.” Karsha simply said.
“Where will it take place?”, Zia asked.
“By the house with the three blue stones. There will be a group fire, you'll find it easily.”
“Do we have to show up at a specific time?”
“I'm not sure. Scomber's family needs to prepare the body, and we'll gather when it's done. Then we'll eat, and...and then we'll see.”
The premise was a little grim, but such were funerary rites. Esteban nodded, trying to sound as friendly as possible.
“We'll be there. And we'll be open-minded.”
“I mean, you can choose not to, but...that'd be a little mean.”
And Karsha let slip a slight smile.
“I...see you have work to do. I wouldn't keep you away from it. Most likely, see you tonight.”
“See you.”
He walked away, leaving them there. Only when he was out of sight did Esteban let his words out again.
“...do you think I'm making a mistake?”
“I wouldn't go as far as to say that. Let's say you've got much repairwork to do, if you two still want to be friends.”
“Don't put that pressure on him, Tao. We've got to be respectful, that's all.”
“Also, I'll admit I'm pretty curious. How do Abyssals take care of their dead ones? Surely there must be burial grounds somewhere.”
Esteban looked up at the ocean above their heads.
“What if they just release them to the ocean? To reach the heavens.”
“I guess we'll find out. I still think it'll be a bit awkward, if people start crying.”
“Come on. Even in the face of death, they want us to be included. The least we can do is to show up and pay our respects.”
That would still be an uneasy occasion. But Karsha described it as a happy one, full of cheer and good memories, so perhaps it wouldn't be so bad.
~~~~~
Indeed, it didn't start out so bad.
The mood was obviously a little gloomy, for the loss of a loved one was never easy. Scomber was one of the biggest hunters of the group, stern but with the ability to crack a mean joke. Esteban has never talked to him, only seen him in passing, but listening to the stories of those who knew him, it almost felt like the man could have been one of his friends.
From what he gathered, there has been a big commotion when the gowren was finally caught. The gigantic creature, which he understood to be some kind of whale, had struggled and fought in the trap laid by the hunters. And it would have broken out and wasted everyone's efforts, if not for the hunter's commitment to killing it, fighting it underwater until his literal last breath. Such a beast was too valuable to be left alive, and its meat and bones would be of tremendous help to fend off starvation. Esteban had seen it being hauled in by the rest of the hunters, and couldn't help but agree: a beast this size could feed an entire fleet!
“Of course, it's sad to see a life lost.”, someone had said. “But if we manage to keep that gowren's carcass, many children will grow strong and healthy. Many new lives will be born. We have to do all we can to keep the cycle going.”
Hunting was dangerous. The creatures of the Abyss were ruthless, born from the Wardragon's blood, and the only way to match their fierceness was to consume them in turn. In such a barren underwater wasteland, it was survival that mattered most.
“Are the beasts of the Shalaya such dangerous, too?”
“Well...there are some, yes. But there are much more docile ones too. We raise them for food...I thought you did that too?”
“What, the desha? They have little meat. Very soft, though.”
Seals were the cattle of the sea. They were not herded as much as simply accustomed to human presence, and left roaming free instead of kept in pens or enclosures. But they'd always come back, for food was hard to come by at such depths without a little help, and they needed air to live. They had their territory in a corner of the city bubble, down the canals' stream, and were left alone for the most part. “Shepherds” would simply leave them with food so they'd stay in that area, and carry away the dead or wounded seals. Their shimmery, soft fur was ideal for making swimming garments, and their blubber was an important source of nutrients. It was a cycle of taking and giving, as with everything else in nature; a self-sustaining ecosystem, from which both species would benefit.
Abyssal philosophy was deeply rooted in this idea. Everything was a cycle, nothing had a clear end or beginning. Humans were a part of nature, and to force it to bend to their will would break its fragile balance. Everything could find its place, everything had a use, and to waste anything would be a stupid idea.
“Surely you don't eat all parts of a fish? What about the heads?”
“Don't toss them, they make a lovely broth.”
“And the tiny sharp bones? And the fins?”
“If you boil them for a long time with freshwater, they make bonemilk. It's used in medicine, but it helps plants grow, too.”
“Anything that has meat on its bones can be eaten.”
Frankly, their ability to find uses for every last little thing was almost frightening. But it made sense, too: resources were very hard to come by, so anything that could be used and reused, would be. This ensured their city stayed clean, and that future generations would always have something to build in turn with.
Really, it was easy to forget why they were gathered here in the first place. They've been jumping from story to story for a while now, so much that they've lost sense of what they were talking about to start with. The salt fire was going down, and a dim light had settled over the area. It was peaceful, everyone was in a good mood. It was a pretty good time.
“I'm getting hungry.”, Tao said after a time. “When will the feast start?”
“Be patient.”, Zia replied. “Have you seen the meat on that whale? It's going to take a long while to cook.”
One of the crafters, who's been sitting with them for a moment, turned in their direction.
“You mean the gowren? We won't be eating that today.”
“Really?”
“Of course not. It is supposed to last us for a long time, so it will be salted for later. And even the rest will take a while to cut down.”
“I heard whale meat is delicious. Some sailors back in Spain talk of it like a luxury.”
“It's true that it's very hard to catch. The best part is the tail; that's what we give our sick ones.”
“Why is that?”
“So they can heal faster, of course. Not all food is the same, so the best meals go to those who need it. Don't eat khe'beite if you're not pregnant, you know what I'm saying?”
“...I don't.”
Well, that made sense. Food and health were intrinsically tied, after all.
“I hope we don't get bad bits just because we're healthy.”, Tao joked.
“The best bits will go to his family first. That's proper.”
“The best bits of...what, exactly?”
The crafter didn't reply, and instead turned around. For indeed, the smell of food had just hit them, and they could tell the fun was about to begin.
An old woman had brought out a large dish filled with meat, both cooked and raw, and people were starting to gather around. They were silent for the most part, their stories and jokes quieted down, and a wave of solemnity had washed over the crowd. They sat down for the most part, as the grandmother put down the food by the fire. The children also watched, intriguing as to what exactly was going on.
The old woman picked a juicy piece of red meat, wrapped in seaweed like a Chinese riceball. It was still dripping with blood, and many people were looking at it with an expression Esteban couldn't decipher, but that struck him as some form of respectful jealousy.
“Corhyn, his faithful companion, who will be the mother of his child. May his heart bring you the strength to carry on in life.”
A younger woman then stood up, wearing the tied down sealeaves of married adults. She was a few months pregnant, and walked with a bit of difficulty to the grandmother, who handed her the piece of meat. She took it with reverence, respectfully bowing her head, and returned to the others. She looked about to cry, and the jealousy that subsisted all around faded into sadder tones.
“Sarda, Thunnus, his caring brothers. You have watched over him for all his life, and you have loved him. May his lungs bring your own breath where his own couldn't.”
Two young men stepped forward, and each accepted a wrapped piece. They too looked as if they've been crying, and went to sit with their brother's widow, comforting her with gestures.
The distribution continued. The old woman, which Esteban understood to be Scomber's mother, would call a name and hand them a selected piece of meat, always speaking of the food as if it would give them some blessing. As if it would confer them the qualities and strengths of the deceased hunter. It was rather touching, and people were honored to be called up and personally given some.
After the deceased's family, it was the turn of his close friends. Most of them were hunters, that was no surprise, but there were many from other circles. Karsha was called as well, and he was given a piece of cooked meat, claiming it would help him grow strong. He accepted it with the same reverence, and returned to his mother's side to share it with her.
“That's a strange custom.”, Tao commented at some point. “But it's not bad.”
“It's a bit weird. It sounds like they're figuratively eating him.”
“It's seal meat. They wouldn't literally eat him, would they?”
They chuckled at the thought, as gruesome as it was. True that they were pretty keen on not wasting anything, but that would just be taking the idea too far.
...right?
After everyone in the deceased's close circle had been personally given some piece of the seal, the grandmother turned to the crowd, and told them that even if they did not know her son personally, they were still part of the big family of the Abyss. Their grief was as valid and welcome as that of his family's, and they were welcome to take part in the ras'mirasora if they desired to. There was still a pretty big share of meat on display, and while a few people left, others stayed to partake.
“You guys hungry? I won't lie, I'm pretty eager now.”
“Why not.”
The kids stood up, and headed to the fire where the food was kept warm. There was no line nor hassle, everyone just picked what they wanted and made sure to leave plenty for the others. It was quite orderly, since people had the decency to let the elderly, pregnant and children go first. Though it was a little surprising to see nothing but red meat on the table, and no greens or seafood at all. No ocean bread, no shellfish soup, not even drinks.
Some bell in Esteban's head started to ring.
“Guys...are you sure you want to eat that?”, he asked quietly.
Zia turned to him.
“If I'm being honest...I'm not sure. I don't see a lot of vegetables here.”
“You heard them.”, Tao shrugged. “It's a feast, that's why they went all-out on the meat. I mean, I won't complain.”
He looked around at the cuts still on display, as Pichu perched on the table. The parrot took a look as well, but as soon as he got close, he immediately started flying away.
“Danger, danger!”, he called.
“Eh? What's gotten into you, Pichu?”
“Danger, danger! Hurt!!”
And he hid away in Tao's robe, leading him to step away as to not cause a scene.
“What do you mean?”, he asked. “It can't be poisoned, is it?”
“Help, help...Pichu afraid!”
He looked terrorized, for some reason that couldn't be understood. Esteban looked at the table again, and saw some ribs that have just been cut and cooked. That meat looked just fine, but...something was off.
He's seen an Abyss seal before. He's seen those long, scrawny water dogs. And even if there were some big ones, they ribcages were certainly not that big.
The best bits of...what, exactly?
“Guys...”
His heart started to pound. It couldn't be, no. It couldn't be possible.
“I...I don't think that's seal.”
“Then...what is it?”
We always try to shine those we eat; it's more respectful.
He didn't want to know. He didn't want to speak it. But the palor of his face spoke for himself, as he looked at his friends with absolute terror.
“...wait. You don't...you can't possibly mean that…?”
His blood ran cold, and a dreadful feeling squeezed his chest tighter than it ever has been.
Anything that has meat on its bones can be eaten.
His heart felt like it was about to stop. He was going to scream, there was no other way. Zia's hands put to her mouth when she realized, and she eyed the meat with absolute horror. Tao was silent, not yet getting it, but it would only be a matter of time. Any moment now, and he would scream in abject horror.
But before that could happen, a hand laid on his shoulder.
“Let's go.”, Karsha said.
And before anything could be said or done, he has whisked the three of them off to the side, away from the feast. Esteban followed along, because at this point there was nothing else he could do. It's as if all willpower had left him, replaced with absolute fear and disgust as his only emotions.
When he felt they were far enough away from the crowd, he let his feelings speak. He jerked Karsha's guiding hand away, and stared at him in utter spite.
“How can you do this!?”, he hissed between his teeth. “One of your friends has died, and you're...you've…!!”
Karsha simply held his stare, but stayed silent. That only fueled Esteban's rage even more, so much he could barely speak. It was Zia's voice that broke the tense silence.
“You're...eating him.”, she said in a whisper. “You're cannibals.”
“I don't know what that means.”, Karsha replied. “But I see that it's the thing that upset you.”
He shrugged.
“You promised to not make a scene, but I knew it was a matter of time. I suppose it can't be helped. Just go ahead and do your thing while no one's watching.”
Esteban's fist clenched. The air around them got warmer, charged with slivers of ire like static electricity. Sensing an outburst about to happen, Tao quickly got a hold of his arm, to try and calm him down.
“I can't believe it.”, Zia continued. “You're...you're cannibals! You're eating the flesh of your own kind!”
“I suppose...that's not what you do?”
“What we do!?”, Esteban interjected. “Do you realize what you're doing?!Do you have any idea of how crazy and wrong that is!?”
“That's the point, I don't!”, Karsha hissed. “That's why I didn't want you to come. I knew there'd be something wrong with what we're doing, and I was just waiting around to see what exactly would trigger your reaction.”
He sighed in mild annoyance.
“It just can't be helped.”
“You don't understand.”, Zia picked up. “It's not just a cultural difference. Eating the flesh of humans is a very grave offense! It's...it's one of the greatest taboos that exist!”
“It's disgusting!”, Esteban added. “You're desecrating your dead! That's completely sick!!”
Faced with so much anger, Karsha took a step back. His annoyance had shifted to unease, perhaps even fear. He was likely expecting a bad reaction, but certainly not one so big.
“I mean...a lot of cultures of the world think the same.”, Tao added, a bit more calmly. “Even in dire times, eating your own kind is...something you just don't do. I've seen a lot of things, but that's just...that's just too much for me. I'm sorry.”
He turned his head away, as if he were getting sick. Karsha glanced away, thoroughly uncomfortable.
“Well...that's how we do.”, he justified. “How was I supposed to know you'd find it offensive? Everyone here thinks it's natural.”
“That's the point!!”
Esteban jerked Tao's arm away.
“You've been here for so long, you've lost all sense of morality! You're just doing whatever you please, and then claim it's normal for you!!”
“Well, what are we supposed to do!? Just leave their bodies out there to rot, and starve in turn!?”
“Just because you're living in a harsh world doesn't mean you have to resort to such...extremities! That's completely sadistic!!”
“Because you think we like it?!”
And Karsha had shoved his finger at Esteban's chest, so much that a disturbing feeling crept through him and stopped him for a moment. In his anger, Karsha had shone him, and electricity was pouring out of him like the tears of his eyes.
“You think I wanted to lose my friend?! You think it's easy for me to eat the flesh of someone I held dear?! You think we're cruel sadists who see each other but as pieces of meat waiting to be devoured!?”
He was sobbing. His words were getting slurred, and his big eyes were slick with tears.
“I loved him! He taught me so much about hunting! He gave his life so that we could survive, and not starve like so many of us have starved before! Do you think I wanted to lose him? Do you think I'd be cruel enough to do horrible things to his remains, when all I wanted was for him to live!?”
His throat was wheezing, he had difficulty to breathe. He didn't even bother speaking any more words, and just fell to his knees, sobbing his heart out. The electricity dissipated, and Esteban's anger softened.
“...I'm so sorry.”
Zia stepped closer, knelt down to his height. She held onto his shoulder, and he accepted the embrace she was offering.
“I'm...so sorry this had to happen.”, she continued. “I can't judge you or your customs, and I'm sorry it seemed that way. Please, find it in your heart to forgive us.”
He held on tight, burying his face in her shoulder.
“I just...I just want everything to be fine!”, he sobbed. “I'm hurting, I lost my friend, and I don't understand why you're thinking all these things of us!!”
Tao glared at Esteban, who didn't know why that could be called for.
“...it would be hard to explain.”, Zia simply said. “Perhaps...if we knew in advance what was going to happen, we would have not come. And we could have avoided any scene.”
Karsha sniffled, looking at her. He looked truly hurt, and that vision tore at Esteban's heart. Once again, he tried to put himself in his shoes, to understand what it would be like if he'd just lost one of his closest friends and some foreigner were to insult him and claim he'd done a horrible thing. It helped with some perspective, sure...but still, he couldn't condone eating the dead! That was just too far for him!! Just because that was the way for some people didn't mean he had to accept it unconditionally!
“I just wonder...why?”, Tao asked calmly. “Out of all the ways to, um...honor your dead, why would you eat them? Why not bury them?”
“We'd run out of room pretty quickly.”
Karsha wiped his tears away, or at least tried to.
“I guess that it's just ingrained so hard into us, how we have to survive. Food is very hard to come by. Hunting can be dangerous. When half of the population dies, and the other half is starving...it's just natural.”
Zia sat down next to him, and Tao eventually followed. Esteban hesitated, but did not want to cause any more trouble, so he did so as well.
“I don't see what's wrong with it. If my body can help someone survive a bit more after I die, why would I not want to? I mean...I won't need it anymore.”
“But that's quite an extremity...if you devour each other so freely when hunger strikes, that would destroy you!”
“We'd never kill each other! Never! Any living life, any helping hand will always be more valuable than whatever meat we have on our bones. A person's body may feed us for a day, but their work and their help would have brought food for many more years. That is our...our taboo.”
“But isn't that twisted? Those are your loved ones, and you reduce them to...to food. That's horrible.”
“It doesn't have to be.”
Karsha then fetched something from his belt. It looked like a miniature crossbow, or some kind of spring-loaded pistol. It was painted and carved like an art piece, but the white organic material it was made of left no doubt as to its nature.
“My sheropeka was a gift from my mother. She gave it to me when I became of age. She carved it from the bones of her sister, who loved me dearly. And I loved her, too.”
His finger slowly followed one of the carved spirals.
“She had very good eyes. So good that she's now Chalum La'nadrarina. Whenever I hunt, her eyes guide me where mine can't see. That's why I never miss my target. It's like...she's still here with me, you know?”
It was grim. It was horribly grim. But the way Karsha spoke of it, holding his bone tool like one would hold a portrait of their relative, almost felt...wholesome.
“I get the idea, but...that's just too strange.”, Tao piped in. “You're playing with the bodies of people, making their bones into items?”
“I don't see what's so bad about it. I mean...I'd love for my children to so something great of me when I die. I want to help them even in death. You can make so many great things with bones!”
“And...everyone thinks like you?”
“You'd be surprised as to how many things you've touched here were made from someone's sibling or parent.”
Zia curled her hands away, disgusted by the thought. Karsha simply sighed.
“I guess I can see what irks you...it's not very clean. Some people don't want to become tools when they die, and we respect that. But when you've got nothing on hand to build a city where everyone can live comfortably...you've still got yourself, you know?”
There was still a lot of unease going around. Neither anger nor sadness had fully dissipated, and that was maybe what prompted Karsha to change subjects.
“...what do you do with your dead ones, anyway? You've judged us a lot, so now it's my turn.”
“Um...well, we bury them, most of the time.”
“Bury them? In the ground?”
“In graves. And then we...we mourn, we honor them. We...”
Zia stopped mid-sentence, her words trailing off. It dawned on them that the three of them had already lost someone, and that even though they've never really talked about it, they could knew what the others felt in this instant. Each of them remembered a different grave, in a different country, each holding a father figure that had watched over them for years of their lives. And it hurt to talk about.
Esteban remembered Father Rodriguez. He's been a good man, caring and devoted, even though he now belonged to a life so old and distant he could barely even remember his face. It'd never occur to him to eat his heart for strength, carve his bones into tools or make pouches out of his skin; the very idea repulsed him to the highest point. It felt criminal to even think about it.
“And...what becomes of them?”, Karsha asked.
“...nothing. We leave them here, at peace. That's all.”
It was obvious the topic was very painful, and opened up some old wounds. Karsha felt like he wanted to say something, and Esteban expected him to say horrible truths that'd come back at him for what himself said before; but nothing such happened. Instead, he just sat pensively, thinking about it.
“...it must be nice.”, he eventually said. “You've got so much room that you give it to people who don't need it.”
“It's not that.”, Tao sighed. “It's so that we have a place to go when we want to remember them. They've been through a lot in life...they deserve to rest in peace.”
The concept was hard to convey, it seemed. But Karsha said nothing, just thinking it over.
They had different ways to grieve. But deep down, the grief was the exact same.
“Do you...”, Esteban hesitated. “Do you...want to be eaten, when you die?”
“Of course. I'm young and strong. If I can help someone's sickness, I will.”
“And...what about your soul? If you don't have a body anymore, what becomes of it?”
Karsha blinked at him. But then, he simply smiled.
“My soul will return to my mother. Like everyone else.”
“To...Selaka?”
“No.”
And he held out a hand. Esteban hesitated, not feeling this at all, but something in Karsha's sad smile felt genuine enough. Slowly, he held that hand, and that warmth came back to him again. The warmth they shared, the same sunlight in their blood.
“My mother. Everyone's mother. Even if we are so far in the Abyss that she can't reach us, our souls will always find their way back to her.”
For an instant, just an instant, Esteban knew what he meant. He knew who was that watchful mother, so estranged and yet so present, the one that had helped them since the start and would keep helping them, even in the afterlife. The mother that was his own as well, for he too was a child of Atlantis. A child of the Sun.
But that only lasted a moment, after which his confusion came back. Karsha withdrew his hand, and simply smiled.
“I'm not afraid to die.”, he said. “Because I know I'll be alright. We all have to conquer our fear of death, so we can move on.”
It was getting late, and they've barely noticed the salt fires have been dimming. Slowly, Karsha stood back up.
“I believe we all need some cheering up. How about you come with me, and we get something all of us can eat? It wouldn't be fair to let you starve.”
Pichu happily reacted to the promise of food, lightening the mood. The children stood in turn, still a little hesitant and down, but at least there was no harm done. No lasting harm.
“...I'm sorry I called you sadistic.”, Esteban said out of the blue. “I...I've lost people I cared about, too. I would never think of doing such...such things to them.”
“Well...I can get that it's upsetting you. I'm sorry that it happened.”
“It's not your fault.”, Zia said. “You couldn't have known.”
“But I could have told you about it.”
“You couldn't have known. It's not very fair for you that you need to justify yourself all the time.”
“Yeah. You...you have your culture, and your own reasons for doing things. We don't have a place to judge you.”
“And yet you do.”
“And yet we do...”
Esteban sighed. Karsha gently touched to his shoulder, in that warm manner as usual.
“You don't need to put on a happy face if it truly upsets you.”, he said. “I can tell this is very important to you and your people.”
He glanced away for a moment.
“I just...I just don't want this to keep happening. Maybe we're just too different...and you're like me, so what about all the people out on the shalaya that are not like us? Perhaps it's good that we stay here in the Abyss, away from other humans.”
“What? No, don't say that! You know it's not true!”
“But it is. And it's maybe the best choice. We've long renounced on getting back to the surface, anyway.”
His hand slowly let go.
“But the surface is your home. I feel that if you stay away from it for too long, you'll end up missing it. Perhaps...it's best you shorten your stay in Nemishta.”
It felt like a stone suddenly dropped in his chest.
“...he's right.”, Zia said. “We still have an objective to complete. It hurts to say, but we can't stay here forever.”
“Well...I know that, but...”
But what? What was it that felt so wrong in all of this?
“You don't have to decide right now.”, Karsha said. “You know you're welcome to stay as long as you want. We'll always accept you...even if the opposite may not be true.”
The stone sank even harder down.
“But let's not bother ourselves with that! That can wait. Come, you must be all starved. We've got bread, and shells, and maybe even bone soup! Don't worry, it's desha bones, I swear it's not people. Once again, it's not something we do each day without a care in the world.”
“I believe you, don't worry.”
They followed, for they had nowhere else to go. But still, even with all the good will in the world, something just didn't sit right with all of this.
He didn't want to stay, nor did he feel like leaving. He didn't even know what he wanted anymore; only that, in the moment, he felt incredibly tired.
Mhh? Non, vous avez rien loupé. C'est juste que comme j'en ai rana'pétay, je mets que ce chapitre-là. Vous voulez tout le reste? C'est sur: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27643097
Ne dites pas aux Atlantes de l'Abysse d'aller manger leurs morts. Ils vous regarderaient avec une certaine confusion, et vous répondraient d'aller enterrer vos morts à vous.